It's better to Give than Receive
I know it's alleged that a bearded guy in sandals once said that it's better to give than to receive, but whoever said it was definitely on to something.
However, I think there's a major part of this equation that many people miss, and never get to experience which is tragic.
When we think of giving, we often think of it as being a selfless act; pleasing a partner, giving them what they want, keeping them happy - which can be great, (or maybe not) but there's a whole other side to that coin.
The other side of that coin is that you can give and receive, and receive and give all at the same time, and in my experience, if you're with the right partner, you can receive exponentially more than you give in some pretty unexpected ways - I'll explain.
The Equation of Giving
Whether you are giving your pussy, your mouth or your body for someone else's pleasure, if you have selected the right partner, they can take that gift of pleasure and return it back to you many times over as their arousal and desire to please you increases.
In an instance like this, one facilitates the other and it becomes a constant swirling ball of yin and yang energy that feeds off each other. The feminine fully submitting to the masculine and in turn, the masculine fully nurturing the feminine - to a point of combustion as lust overflows.
Both partners are giving, but they are also receiving more in return. The total is much greater than the sum of its parts but this equation can only be figured out if both partners are willing to give openly.
Barriers to Giving
What often prevents one from giving is a lack of trust, which in turn prevents that intense connection from taking place. Building trust can be difficult, it takes time, energy, consistency and the willingness to be vulnerable on both sides.
For a man, a willingness to be vulnerable, ie. open and emotionally available often comes down to dealing with and managing insecurities of perceived weakness, when in truth, it can be manly as fuck. I believe a lot of male sexual conditioning (and biology to a large extent) teaches us to hunt and acquire. In this instance, being open, giving and emotionally available is not particularly helpful in this regard.
But when there's a mental shift from that of acquiring, to that of giving, with the right partner who is also of the same mindset, who is going to respect and appreciate a man's willingness to go there with her.
On the other hand, many women in today's society seem to be adopting more male characteristics when it comes to sex. From what I've seen and heard, this is a coping mechanism - if I can't beat them, join them. Due to not being nurtured in the right environment, women adopt more of a typical male mindset of acquisition which may work well for some, but just like men who have this approach, I doubt they are reaching anywhere near the level of satisfaction they are capable of.
What's more, it's not natural for a woman to behave like a man sexually because we are not wired the same. I'm not referring to the number of sexual partners, I'm referring to how women tend to experience deep sexual satisfaction.
For many men, I'd say we can happily have sex purely on a physical level and be content for the most part whereas women (in my experience) tend to need more of a connection with the person on top of them. Many women find it difficult to orgasm unless they are made to feel sexy and actually fancy the person - obviously, this is not the case for many guys.
This means that for a woman to make better choices and reduce the likelihood of bad sex, she needs to understand the power of the penis. Luckily, I've written a post entitled 'Power of the Penis' which should help to shed some light on the matter.
Different, but not so much
However, we can and do share some very similar traits if we allow ourselves to tap into our desire to please. This is the golden elixir from where all good lovers hail. This is the secret ingredient from which the most lustful desires arise. And this is the ancient wisdom that the bearded guy in the sandals spoke of.
This was revealed to me many years ago when I figured out that a woman who feels nurtured is infinitely sexier and more willing to please than a woman who isn't. Not only will she be willing to please, but she'll be eager to do so.
A woman like this will be most guys idea of a wet dream. The problem is, creating a woman like this requires genuine care, affection, trust and a nurturing environment which is often the missing part of the equation.
When a guy realises that learning how to please a woman and really drive her crazy will actually make her even sexier, he'll never look at sex in the same way again.
In tantra, the “Yoni” is the Sanskrit word for the vagina. Also meaning “source” or “origin,” and is literally worshipped. They consider a woman's sexual juices a sacred source of energy that nourishes the man.
In English, by contrast, all the words we have for female genitalia are either derogatory or coldly clinical. Many still feel shame or guilt for uttering the words pussy, or vagina. Something that is a source of power, pleasure and life has been transformed into something dirty and crude. As a result, the vagina is often used as a derogatory term to insult both male and female - and the word prick/dick too.
The Yoni, sometimes referred to as pindika, is an aniconic representation of the goddess Shakti in Hinduism. It is usually shown with linga – its masculine counterpart. Together, they symbolize the merging of microcosmos and macrocosmos, the divine eternal process of creation and regeneration, and the union of the feminine and the masculine that recreates all of existence.
To go from this, to how male and female sex organs are portrayed in mainstream society speaks to how disconnected and inverted much of what we are conditioned to believe actually is.
I'm not saying that everyone should necessarily adopt a tantric way of life, (although I think many of us would be much more sexually satisfied if we did), but I do think developing a better understanding of how we can reconnect with our divine sexual essence would make the world a much more stimulating place.
So Here's to wet pussies, hard dicks, deep connections and satisfying orgasms.
Peace, love and Great Sex,