Forget Brexit, How About "Sexit"?
Imagine if women all over the world decided to get together and create a 'Sexit' movement focused on the withdrawal of access to their pussy until their needs were met. How might something like that play out? Imagine...
Fears Rise As Women Threaten
But what is driving this radical shift causing women to close their borders and restrict access to pussy on a global scale? With reported cases of 'Drygina' (the female equivalent of 'Blueballs') at an all-time high, we spoke to experts to help us gain a better understanding of the issues that have so many women up in arms.
- According to the Office of Sexual Bliss, (OSB) some 80% of women struggle to orgasm through penetrative sex alone.
- The average sexual encounter among couples lasts between 4 and 15 minutes including foreplay.
- The Office of Orgasmic statistics reported, 50% of men were unable to locate the G-spot on Google maps.
- 8 out of 10 experts on our panel think it is more likely than not that Women will still be tolerating poor performance in the bedroom in 2020 unless a major change in attitudes towards sex is developed.
- An in-depth study by the Department of Sexual Satisfaction (DSS) found that religion has contributed massively to the sexual oppression of women since Jesus wore short pants.
- Studies indicate that the use of pornography has had a negative impact on men's attitudes towards sex with vaginas being treated as 'penis pockets.'
This document outlines some of the fundamental issues regarding our exit from the "Selfish Sex Community" (SSC) and how the "Independent Pussy Republic" (IPR) can best move forward.
After careful consideration of the fundamental issues facing women, we have identified 10 key points of consideration to ensure mutual sexual satisfaction for all women during this transition.
We propose that all men be required to adhere to these criteria in order to retain access to benefits in the land of orgasmic juice and honey.
1. Phased Withdrawal
We propose that the 'Pussy Access Policy' take place in three stages:
1.1. The initial phase, before Sexit, will involve the introduction of a sexual satisfaction bill designed to assess a man's attitude towards pleasing a partner.
1.2. It will be followed by a sexual exploration period of “at least 6 months” where men will be required to learn how to please sed partner based on their individual requirements.
1.3. A final phase, when tough new rules will be put in place to mitigate against lacklustre performance long term.
2. Pussy First
Put plainly, this means that, in order to be considered suitable for access to the IRP, men will need to be willing to learn how to please beyond their own orgasm if they are not already acquainted with this practice.We are clear that, whenever possible, men should look to meet the needs of women to the best of their ability in order to build strong intense multiple-orgasms that induce throbbing sensations down below for days after.
3. Pussy Permits and Bedroom Control
We propose that all men be required to show their Pussy Permit when wishing to gain access to the bedroom. We envisage that men will be required to state their intentions and the nature of their visit. We intend to require all men to be honest and realistic about their bedroom skills as they will be held accountable for their claims.
4. Foreplay and Permanent Arousal
We will end one-sided sex and the lack of foreplay after Sexit has been initiated. During the implementation phase, men who require time to improve their skillset will be given the opportunity to learn how to keep women wet, aroused and sexually satisfied with multiple orgasms and regular heart palpitations.
5. Sexual Psychometric Assessment
Any man applying for access to the IPR will be required to undergo a full "Sexual Psychometric Assessment" based on a specific criteria. This will include assessment a men's attitude towards a woman's right to express her sexuality free of slut-shaming, his views on pleasing a woman including foreplay and aftercare, books and other content consumed relating to female anatomy and sexual pleasure, awareness of the G-spot, clitoris, cervical and anal orgasms and his ability to control his arousal in order to maintain a rock hard erection for the required amount of time.
6. The Right To Revoke Access
Only men who have real expertise will be offered Pussy Permits on a permanent basis but will still be subject to long term performance and stamina checks. Men are advised to engage in open dialogue with a view to maintaining good relations so both parties remain sexually satisfied. Complacency and inconsideration will constitute justifiable grounds for revocation of IPR Pussy Permits.
7. Restricting the Ability of Society and Religion to Dictate 'Acceptable' Expressions of Sexuality
The IPR reserves the right to protect women's ability to express their sexuality in any way they choose among consenting adults free of judgment, shame and threat of eternal damnation.
This can be but is not limited to unconventional relationship models, kinks, fetishes, obscure sexual proclivities, public displays of the human body, in particular, the breast and vagina, public displays of affection and intimacy and revealing clothing.
Breach of these freedoms afforded all women of the IPR will result in the immediate deportation and the revocation of IPR permits.
8. The Right To Self Pleasure
All women of the IPR will reserve the right to masturbate at will so long as they do not pose a danger to themselves or other women. This can include but is not limited to the workplace and in public spaces. IPR citizens are advised not to operate heavy machinery whilst under the influence of orgasmic bliss for their own safety as well as others.
9. The Prioritisation of The Female Orgasm
Men who wish to remain in the IPR will be required to prioritise the woman's orgasm to the best of their ability. Penetrative and oral skills, as well as fingering ability, will be assessed on a regular basis according to reports submitted by female citizens.
Men failing to meet this requirement will be sent to the Department of Better Sex (DBS) for re-education where they will be given the opportunity to meet the required standard. Those who fail or are unwilling to attend will face deportation and the revocation of IPR permits.
10. Independent Pussy Republic Integration
All men will be required to assimilate and become productive members of IPR society. This will include a solid understanding of emotional intelligence, good communication skills, ability to resolve conflict, mutual respect, commitment to upholding the fundamental principles of the IPR as well as an ongoing commitment to sexual development long term.
Our intention is to avoid a no-deal Sexit which would have serious consequences for men and women all over the globe as reported cases of Drygina continue to skyrocket.
This 10 point Sexit plan will hopefully provide the framework for men and women to achieve mutual satisfaction, multiple orgasms and a healthy attitude towards sex.
If you have any concerns over Sexit, contact your local representative for further information.
Senior Sexit Advisor
The Independent Pussy Republic
Fancy that! Lol.
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