I've been told on many occasions that there's nothing sexier than a man who really knows how to express himself. So why do so many men struggle to do so effectively? I also think the same applies to many women who for one reason or another, are not comfortable speaking their truth, especially when it comes to discussing their fears and desires.
But when I talk about good communication, I'm not just referring to the ability to articulate feelings and emotions. I'm also referring to the ability to create an environment where all parties are free to open up, share, discuss, debate and even offend without the other feeling the need to retaliate.
Good communication fosters a feeling of freedom to speak your mind without fear. To engage in playful and highly charged conversations where there is no issuance of blame or ridicule. The ability to listen carefully and digest every word without judgment. To acknowledge how the other person is feeling without necessarily trying to find a solution or fix them. Sometimes just being present and holding space for them to open up and let go can feel so liberating.
The feeling of being heard and understood is often enough to defuse any negative energy that may have been festering. The release of which can feel like a genuine weight off the shoulders as the heart rate begins to settle. There is much that can be said but sometimes the best form of communication is to simply be quiet and tune in to the energy flowing between two people.
We're so accustomed to using words to communicate that we don't realise how amazing it can feel when we tune in to another's energy and let our inner beings vibrate together. How many of us have actually taken the time to really appreciate the blessing of silence in the company of another? I'm talking about an entire day or perhaps an entire week in complete silence. You'll soon realise that much of what we spend our time talking about is just a big distraction. It's the mind playing tricks on us, convinced that unless we voice our thoughts and opinions, life as we know it would come to an end.
We are highly intelligent intuitive creatures with senses that we are not even fully aware of. Imagine if we consciously took the time to learn exactly how a partner was feeling and what they wanted simply from the look in their eyes. Perhaps we could tell what they were thinking by the sound of their breathing pattern. Or maybe we could tell if they were sexually aroused by the arch in their back or how they held their stomach when they walk.
Instead of asking if they were ok or if they wanted a hug you'd know intuitively without having to utter a single word. You'd know whether to rub their shoulders or hold their head close to your chest. You'd know whether to give them a sensual kiss or drop to your knees and pleasure them until they came.
The human body sends out many signals that go largely unnoticed but it's simply a matter of learning a new language. I'm sure it will come as no surprise when I say that I for one am a big fan of words, I have plenty of them to share, but I also appreciate the gift of silence and non-verbal communication. The peace and tranquillity of not feeling like every situation requires a slew of words to restore balance.
There's something primal about eyes meeting across a crowded room that can send waves of energy through the body like nothing else. That's because we're tuning in to hardwired senses dating back over 2 million years. And to think we only started using words 100'000 years ago - that alone should tell us something.
Communication comes in many forms, be it's spoken, written or acted out. As we are fortunate enough to be blessed with such a rich assortment of senses, perhaps we should spend more time exploring all the amazing ways that we can connect with each another on a deeper level.
Peace and Love,