Last week I received an email from a woman asking for some advice about how to create a special evening for her busy partner to help him escape the pressures of a stressful job and enjoy an intimate encounter. This request got me thinking, most of the content that I create is aimed at how men can please women which is great, but it's also just as important for women to know how to please men.
So as I sit here on a train to London to do a photo shoot for a piece that actually relates to this topic, I thought I'd take the opportunity to share my thoughts in a blog piece as others may find it helpful too.
Here are my 7 top tips for creating an evening of escapism that your man will love.
1. Set The Scene
Setting the scene provides the context for the evening. This is about understanding your partner's desires and thinking about what will really help them to escape with you for a night of sensual passion.
Are you planning a dinner and a movie night on the couch? Or perhaps you'd prefer to cuddle up in bed and take the rare opportunity to converse? Or maybe an evening of sensual massage, pampering and lovemaking?
It will be different for everyone but the key is to tailor it to the individual:
- What would he really enjoy?
- How will you keep his attention?
- How can you help him relax and tune out the world?
- What one thing would he really appreciate?
Knowing the answer to these questions will make it a lot easier for you to create the perfect evening of relaxation and sensual pleasure.
2. Tune Out The World
This can actually be extremely difficult for many couples as our lives are so polluted with the everyday hustle and bustle. This means that most of the time we are actually operating on completely different frequencies so trying to tune in to each other when you're both still thinking about work deadlines and house chores can be tricky.
I think the best way to manage this is for you and your partner to identify the possible areas of distraction, make a decision about whether it's something that is urgent, can be resolved quickly or can wait until the following day. Once these potential distractions have been addressed, you can make the decision to remove them from your mind and not stress about them for the rest of the evening.
Note: Make a conscious decision to turn off mobiles, laptops and any other time-stealing devices that may intrude on your evening of escapism.
3. Tune Into Your Man
A fantastic way to tune in to your man after a long day is to spend some time meditating together for 15 minutes seated on comfortable cushions while facing each other. Place your hands over each other's heart and focus on deep rhythmic breathing until you are in sync. Doing this while you look deep into his eyes is a powerful way to let him know that you are fully present and he has a warm invitation to connect with you.
You can also take this opportunity to express to your man how much you appreciate him and why you wanted to make the effort on this special evening. In fact, giving gratitude and letting your partner know how much you appreciate them is a beautiful daily practice to adopt as it can really help to set the tone for the day ahead.
4. Give A Full Body Tantric Massage
The secret to giving an amazing Tantric massage is the slow everything down as much as possible and take the time to explore your man's entire body. You can use oil but sometimes the friction of a dry massage can feel amazing too.
Set the scene with scented candles and oils, sensual music, towels and anything else that will help him to relax. Ask him to hop in the shower (maybe you can run him a nice warm bath) and then join you on the bed when he's finished. Ask him to keep his towel on at first as this will give you something to remove later on which is a massive turn on.
Lay him flat on his stomach then slowly and gently start to rub your hands over his entire body with a feather-light touch. Let him know that this massage is purely for his pleasure and that you are there to please him. Ask where and how he wants to be touched and then tease him a little by moving in close and then pulling back. Repeat this until he starts to moan and pull you in closer. Have fun with him and enjoy exploring his body but let him know that you're doing it for his pleasure.
5. Three Hundred Kisses
Most of us enjoy a warm kiss but taking the time to really embrace your man can be an amazing experience, especially after a lovely massage.
The 'Three Hundred Kisses' is something that my clients really enjoy and it's a great way to learn exactly how and where your partner likes to be kissed (you can read more about this here). With your man laying on his back, you can gift him with 300 kisses all over his body, anywhere he chooses.
Pay particular attention to how he responds when you move in to kiss different parts of his body. Ask him how it feels and where he would like you to kiss next. Tease him as you move in closer and hold off as he anticipates your next kiss. Play around with different types of kisses from soft and sensual to firm, wet and passionate.
As you get to the last 50 kisses, he'll probably be extremely aroused and dying to take things further but encourage him to relax and enjoy as there is plenty more pleasure coming his way.
6. The Gift Of Oral
Oral pleasure is, without a doubt, one of the most beautiful and sensual gifts that a man can receive. And taking your time to really learn how to give your man the best oral experience he's ever had will be something that he won't forget - trust me.
To start this wonderful gift, first, place your hands over his penis and gently and slowly massage this area until he is firmly aroused. Rub your hands up and down his inner thigh and then use your fingertips to stroke his penis, especially around the head. Now start to shower his penis with soft gentle kisses all over and be sure to make them wet and juicy - take your time and make sure he's dying for you to put his penis in your mouth.
At this stage, slowly start flicking and licking the tip of his penis with your hands firmly holding the shaft. This is where you take complete ownership of his manhood as you will be able to control his entire body at this point. Circle your tongue around the head of his penis and pay attention to how he responds when you lick a certain part. Once you find the sweet spot, learn how to turn his arousal up and down by inserting his penis into your mouth and gently wrapping your tongue around the head and stroking the shaft still held firmly in your hands. From this point onwards it's very much about exploring but just these few tips alone will leave most men completely at your mercy.
The secret to giving the best blow job is to make sure that your partner breathes deeply the entire time as you build his arousal. The aim is to bring his arousal to a certain point and keep it there for as long as possible until he literally can't control himself any longer. When he finally does release, he'll probably experience something he's never felt before.
Don't be afraid to explore and try not to focus on providing him with a climax. Instead, encourage him to lay back and allow you to do something special for him to show how much you care.
7. Learn How To Nurture His Arousal
Ladies, if you want your man to be putty in your hands here's what you do. When he's least expecting it, e.g. when he's having breakfast and about to leave for work in the morning, put on some sexy lingerie, walk up to him without saying a word and drop to your knees. Then pull out his penis and perform oral pleasure for about 10 minutes just like how I described previously.
Give him exactly what he wants but do not let his arousal rise above a 7 out of 10. You can ask him how close he is to ejaculation if you're unsure but DO NOT let him release. After 10 minutes, give his penis a warm dry kiss, lovingly place it back in his trousers AND WALK AWAY.
Repeat this process for a few days and then watch how he responds when he finally gets his hands on you. He'll likely have been wet and hard many times throughout his day and the mere sight of you in bed wearing your sexy lingerie (or nothing at all) will literally cause him to lose his mind.
Learn to nurture his arousal (non-ejaculation) and teach him how to keep it with him throughout the day. Remind him to breathe deep, enjoy the feeling and think about you every time his dick gets hard. (I definitely advise men to do the same to their women also).
There are many ways to please your partner but what I have mentioned above will definitely help your man escape the stresses of the world and embrace the sensual connection that you both share.
This is an absolutely beautiful gift and he's sure to remember every moment of it the following day. This is something that I encourage you to do often without a special occasion because it's important to show our partners how much we care about them.
This is not so much about sex, it's about connecting with your partner and tuning out the noise. So relax, have fun and focus on learning exactly how to please your man - I assure you, this will be something that he's probably never experienced before.