The secret to being a good lover is caring about your partner’s orgasm, just as much as your own. Everything else from that point onwards is about communication and learning how to please. We are tactile beings from by nature, and a fundamental part of the way we communicate is through touch or lack thereof. A simple caress at the right time, in the right place, can send waves of unrivalled pleasure shooting through the entire body. The power of touch can evoke uncontrollable orgasmic reactions that render the receiver momentarily stunned into submission.
And yet, touch is so often overlooked. A guy doesn’t need a special technique or a 9inch dick to please her, all he needs to do is learn how to explore her mind and body with the gift of touch. It can be the contrast of warm breath circulating around her cool skin that causes goose bumps to rise up, or it could be the aching sensation of suspense as she waits for warm hands to caress and relieve the unbearable sexual tension.
But similar to many things born out of suspense, it’s just as important what you don’t touch, as what you do. And as baited breath anticipates the next assault on the senses, the mind races and intense arousal ensues.
As an escort, I’m fortunate enough to witness first-hand the amazing transformation a neglected woman can undergo, simply from being touched in the right way. There’s nothing sexier than watching a women’s body twist and contort as she becomes increasingly aroused as I draw ever closer to her erogenous zones. Taking the time to enjoy this moment with her is not foreplay, it’s sex, and it’s a beautiful thing to behold. If you care more about her orgasm than your own, you’ll cherish moments like this and penetration becomes more of a bonus, an utterly delightful bonus of course, but it’s not necessarily the main event.
We haven’t even begun to talk about kissing, and scratching, and biting and licking. Moving ever closer, the mind goes into overdrive, but not too close that she’ll climax. The goal is to keep her in a constant state of imminent orgasm, boarding on the realms of sanity as she peppers the air in frustration with colourful expletives. She may even be brought to tears as she begs for the release but part of her still wants to hold on.
Then suddenly we slow down, I'm fixated on her facial expression as her faculties return. Her wild gaze comes into focus and we’re wrapped in a warm embrace; our bodies transferring intense sexual energy like fully charged electrons. Then I touch the side of her neck with fingers moist and warm from stroking her outer labia. This is the perfect time for a sensual Yoni massage to help channel that energy and bring her right back to where I want her.
A soft, slow and devilishly tempting massage of her vagina teases her back and forth as she breathes deeply. I use a variation of a feather-light touch, to a firm stroke, as I instruct her to follow my touch with her breathing pattern. There comes a point when a certain area is aroused and she involuntarily breaks the pattern with a sharp intake of air. It’s her uncontrollable reactions that betray her as I tune in like a thief with my ear to the safe. The only difference is she longs to give me the key to unlock her desires if I’m prepared to listen.
This brings me to my last point; with the focus on pleasing, we can create a healthy environment that encourages learning and exploration. The ultimate goal is not necessarily orgasm; it may be a number of things that can be extremely satisfying. Being paid to provide sexual pleasures can lead to hubris if the mind is not in the right place, but once ego is removed, the experience can be humbling, not to mention mind-blowing. I think I would be remiss if I didn’t take the opportunity to relish every moment of it - and relish it I do.
Related post: Embracing The Intangible