For the many highs I experience in my line of work from meeting fascinating women to the wonderful locations that I travel to it’s not without its drawbacks. Relationships tend to be a bone of contention for the women in my personal life and as much as I completely understand why, when the ultimatum comes for exclusivity (and it’s usually does) I find myself in the familiar position of having to let go and accept the situation.
They say that if they were special I’d change my mind, that I wouldn’t allow them to walk away and that I’d change my line of work. What they don’t realise is that all my life experiences (including my profession) have shaped me in to the person they have fallen for.
They usually say they regret falling for me because they knew I’d never change my course of direction and again I understand. They ask if I don’t long for something deeper than what I have but for me I still don’t subscribe to the notion that I have to be monogamous in order to experience a special connection with someone in a meaningful relationship.
I’ve learnt to accept that people will see things based on their own perspective so there’s little use in me trying to change their opinion. It’s better for me to respect their decision and let them go for their own sake. The downside is that I sometimes lose people who I have a genuinely deep affection for but I still have let them walk away.
Why you may ask? Because my path is much bigger than any one person or any one relationship – and to coin a cliché, “it’s really not them, it’s me”. We get so caught up in our emotions that they often cloud our perspective. It’s not always about the individual and what they bring to the table, sometimes it’s more about where the other person is in their life and the path they have chosen.
I wrote a piece about the power of acceptance and the ability to stay true to oneself. This is not always easy and sometimes it’s darn right difficult when you don’t want to see them walk away but this is the price I pay for the freedom I enjoy to express myself in the way I choose to.
As I listened to an audio book on Buddhism today I realised that the ability to let go and be content with oneself is the true source of happiness. At some stage in the future if and when I choose to change the path that I am on then so be it, but until that day I will embrace life and the secrets it has yet to reveal. Like a child at Christmas I wait with almost baited breath at what the next adventure may bring.
This is me just airing my thoughts in my own little therapy session – which I’m convinced keeps me in a healthy space mentally…after all, why shouldn’t I, it’s my fucking blog;)