The Soulmate Myth

We’ve probably all believed it at some stage, the ‘soul mate’ myth – he’s the one, she’s the one, only to find out they’re not the one at all. They’re simply the one we chose to ‘settle down’ with at the time.

The more I think about the wide spread myth of ‘the one’, the more and more illogical it seems. In a world inhabited by 7 billion people what is the statistical probability of you bumping in to ‘the one’ in your local supermarket? Obviously upon closer inspection this myth clearly seems like Disneyfied nonsense but we buy in to it anyway - Why?

Could it be the widespread social conditioning that encourages us to settle down with ‘the one’, raise a family, follow the rules and live happily ever after? Or could it simply be that we’ve never bothered to question the logic behind this notion because of our need to believe?

By most people’s standards I’d class my selection criteria as a little strange - perhaps. I have my quirks like a woman's posture and stance, how she walks – especially in heels, her tone of voice, body language, a certain type of unhinged intellect, whether or not she reads, the sound of her orgasm, how she tastes, the list goes on. However I’m under no illusion that in a world teaming with people there’ll probably be a pleather of women who fit this description.

So the notion of a ‘soulmate’ just doesn’t hold weight in my opinion. To me it’s a romantic idealisation of the emotional state we find ourselves in when we fall in love with some‘one’ - which we then interpret as the ‘one’. This may seem akin to telling children that Santa Claus doesn’t really exist but as some stage the harsh reality slaps us in the face like a giant snowball. But this is far from a bad thing, on the contrary, it’s quite liberating. It means that we can have the butterflies and giddy ‘Notebook’ type feelings that occur when we’re in love (or lust) but still know that if they do come up short, we’re not stuck in a dead end relationship because of an ideal.

Some may class my views as almost blasphemous but as far as I’m concerned if it allows me to be honest with myself and others then it’s a good thing. If something doesn’t feel right I don’t have to struggle with the notion that it’s ‘meant’ to be. What’s meant to be is meant to make us happy!

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