Why we lie to get sex?
It’s pretty much accepted as standard that most guys will say and do anything to get in to a girl’s knickers, including lying to ourselves and others. But with the release of a mans ejaculation comes the sobering harsh truth of reality that many women feel the morning after as buyer’s remorse sets in.
Our inability to accept that being honest may cause her to walk away can often lead to the loss of all self-respect as we attempt to control the uncontrollable, even to the point of a completely fabricated and warped perception of reality.
As mature men we can learn how to create our reality through conscious thought and decisive movements. Honest, clear and concise communication is the hallmark of self-awareness. I’m aware that it’s far easier to change our own perspective than to try and change others. This is simple logic but emotions are not logical, emotions dictate that if we want to fuck the hot girl we met in the bar we have to paint a certain picture regardless of how genuine it may or may not be. Who cares right? So long as we achieve our objective and she spreads her legs at the end of the night.
This mentality is rife and it causes us to lie, cheat, bend, manipulate and suck up in order to get the ‘prize’ – sex is not a prize, sex should be honest and mutually rewarding to both parties. But due to our reluctance to allow the chips to fall where they may we now find ourselves in their reality, not ours.
A mature man lays out his stall giving the other person the opportunity to make an informed decision based on a genuine representation of the man before them. Acceptance of reality dictates that if the other person is of a different mindset, we have the discipline to walk away. In doing so we retain control of our reality and may continue to shape our world as we see fit.
As a male escort myself, honesty and openness is a priority for me especially in my personal relationships. I don’t date clients but the women who I do see on a personal level are all aware of what I do for a living. I make a point of letting them know as soon as it becomes relevant. Most women in my life are fully accepting of this but some are not able to handle it and we subsequently end up parting company. I look at this approach as a distillation process that allows me to filter out those who would not be able to add value to my life in the way I want and vice versa.
Scarcity and a lack of options with the opposite sex often causes many of us to deceive ourselves in to believing in the idealistic picture we paint when meeting someone new. Most of us have been there at some stage in our lives and I’m sure we can all attest to the shortcomings of this mentality. At this moment in my life scarcity is not an issue but there have been many times when I have been alone and the temptation to bend the truth is admittedly a lot stronger. Having said that I have learnt to embrace the power of solitude and stick to the principles that I believe will ultimately enrich my life in the way I want.
The ability to accept reality gives us the power to reframe our perspective and be true to ourselves and others. You may not always get everyone you want, but you will get what you want, and it will be on your own terms.