Nearly 20 years ago, I embarked upon a journey of sexual exploration not having any idea where it would lead. Being more of a lover than a fighter I have always wanted to please my partners and take them to places unknown.
In my attempts to understand the motives and desires that drive me I pondered the question and found the answer staring me in the face – in fact, the answer was in her face.
I’m drawn to raw sexual energy and I enjoy nurturing it. Like a musician playing an instrument, I take time to learn the cords, the notes, the rhythm and sound of intense pleasure channelled through a beautiful body and mind – set free.
With my insatiable desire to experience pleasures beyond the confines of the vanilla matrix, I stumbled upon the beautiful dark art of BDSM. My experience is far removed from the stereotypes of abusive and emotionally challenged characters depicted by Hollywood’s mainstream interpretations like the now infamous 'Fifty Shades of Grey'.
Finding What Works For You
I see a lot of confusion regarding BDSM and how to engage with it. Does it hurt? Do I have to be humiliated? What if I don't what to do something? How do I know if I'll like it? What if you go too far?
These are all very important questions to ask but the answer will vary depending on whom you are speaking to. Besides Safe, Sain and Consensual practices, it's very subjective and comes down to what you want to experience and who you want to experience it with.
Everyone is different but in my opinion, a good Dom will always put the needs of the submissive first during a session. By this, I mean taking responsibility and leading the way within the agreed boundaries.
BDSM is one of the mediums which I use to embrace deep and intense sexual experiences. But it doesn't give us carte blanche to do whatever we want to do any more than it would within a vanilla setting.
BDSM Is Not Inherently Abusive
Unfortunately, some will use BDSM as a way to justify their abusive behaviour and take what they want with little or no regard for the partner. This is down to the individual and is not something that is inherent in BDSM.
I am naturally a dominant person, I'm also a giver and I like to please. I dominate by consent and my aim is to take a woman to new places of ecstasy based on her deepest fantasies. These traits are inherent to me as an individual and I always encourage women to be true to who they are when deciding what works for them within a BDSM setting or otherwise.
Through BDSM I have learnt a new form of communication where we are able to freely describe to each other in glorious detail exactly what we want and how we want it. She submits to me under specific conditions and I take full responsibility for her whilst she’s in my care.
We establish her boundaries, how far she’ll allow me to push her, how she likes to be dominated, whether she wants me to spank her arse till it goes red, tie her up so she is unable to move, strangle her till she almost passes out, cum in her face or gently stroke her entire body with a feather-light touch.
Planning A Session
After we discuss everything in detail I then go about creating the most erotic script that we will play out between us during our play session.
The script is specifically tailored to her desires although she'll probably never see it as I prefer to keep her in suspense. I'll plan out the entire session usually lasting anywhere between 2 to 3 hours depending on the theme.
I will detail every position and every act based on what I feel will give her the most intense experience. I will include floggers, paddles, vibrators, rope, handcuffs, blindfolds, butt plugs, wax, various oils and anything else I need to create the perfect script for her.
Being a creature of impulse I will always leave room to go off script should the moment call for it. And like any good movie, the best scenes are usually unplanned and completely in the moment so I always leave room for this.
This is a massive learning experience for both parties based on trust and a strong mutual desire to please the other. I have come to the realisation that for me, submission seems to flow both ways as we are bound in servitude to each other’s pleasure.
Taking Full Control
Whilst in session I assume the role of ‘Dominant’ and I carry this out to the fullest degree in true Jekyll and Hyde fashion. With the trust and responsibility placed in me, I take her on a journey where she can completely let go and enjoy knowing that I have full control of the situation.
However, this is far from Disney and things don’t always go according to plan. Sometimes I can push her too far, or not far enough. Sometimes she’ll try to test my authority when I’m breaking her in. Sometimes I’ll need to discipline her with force and sometimes I’ll need to give her a warm embrace. Sometimes I’ll fuck her like a dirty whore and sometimes I’ll pluck her gently like a delicate flower.
Throughout this experience, I’m learning how to tune in to her body and mind. I watch closely paying attention to her every response; her heart rate, breathing patterns, perspiration, involuntary nerve spasms, eye movement, crying, screaming, scratching, teeth grinding – any and everything that may come to the surface.
I try to capture it all and use it to guide me like a compass as we explore this beautiful terrain of ‘Bondage, Dominance, Sadomasochism’ otherwise known as ‘BDSM.
What we are dealing with here is the fight for sexual freedom. We are dealing with the confines of everyday life, the control of the Matrix, the shackles of expectation, the judgment of close-minded people who lack the ability to embrace their own sexuality.
BDSM (as well as many other forms of sexual expression) provides a doorway to a world where we can just ‘be’ – in the moment, in ourselves and each other. It’s the intense connection created by raw sexual energy the way nature intended.
This is my interpretation of the every elusive, shape-shifting dynamic of BDSM embraced by a deviant mind unplugged - Sex is mental.
Peace and Love,
A BDSM Encounter With Madison James
Planning A BDM Session
Owned - An Dark Erotic Tale